All songs are sung in American and other accent stories.

Im not going to try and explain the actual reasons on why this happens. I am not going to even attempt going into any scientific, linguistic or medical explanation on the subject. For one I have not done enough research, two that's not the point of this post, and three Gosh that sounds boring!

What I'd like to bring to your attention first is the mind-blowing phenomenon that happens when a British (Australian, South African, Texan etc.... all apply) singer sings a song, and his or her accent seems to MAGICALLY disappear. Don't believe me? Listen to Rolling in the Deep by London-born Adele. I mean she is rolling in the deep, accent free... just like any another good ol' American girl! How does this happen? Has pop culture brought all singers to sing with an "american accent" because America is your destined golden ticket? That makes sense, making it in the wild west will probably make you a very rich artist. But is that really it?

[side note: I just wikipedia-ed Adele to confirm her birth place, and OMFG she's younger than me... 23 years old... what is happening...!?!!...okay moving on....]

I don't know about you, but this boggles my mind. Especially when you are sure an artist is American and all of sudden you hear them speak during an interview and BOOM the American flags you pictured all around them, all of a sudden turn into the flags of our once-called enemies of the 1700s. You know that Jessie J, the one who sings Domino and Price Tag? Super British! Singers don't even try to hide their British accent while they sing, it just comes out American! From what I've read, people say that singing without their native accent, means that they just sing with "neutrality". How can you call that "neutral"? Who decided American speech was neutral? Is the United States the answer to everything"? Should we get into a political science debate? Meh.

All this talk about accents, and it makes me think about actors playing characters with an accent completely different from their native one. It happens, and if done well, you shouldn't hear a difference. But doesn't it seem like the Brits get a lot angrier when we send our american actors to play Englishmen. Hey England, did Robert Downey Jr. really disappoint you with his Sherlock Holmes Rendition? I'm sorry you feel that way, here's a crumpet. How about Rennee Zellweger as Bridget Jones? I for one was extremely surprised she was born in Texas instead of Liverpool or London. I don't remember us getting mad when Hugh Laurie took on House or when Collin Ferrel was in SWAT! The only case I will ever angry with, literally ripping my hair off annoyed, is when they keep casting Emily Mortimer as an American character. Though she's a good actress please stop assuming she will pass as an American. Here, please see for yourself; you can even tell in the trailer for My Idiot Brother: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CfyHY58lqCk. Do yourself a favor, if you want her in your movie - fine, but introduce her character as a british chick, what's wrong with that? Just work it in your plot! It's not that hard, they did it for all the Arnold movies. You were fine with the fact he was an Austrian man working as a Los Angeles detective in Kingergarten cop right?

At the end of the day, all I have to say is: accents are fascinating.

Cheerio!

A guide to the respectable Los Angeles driver

Driving in Los Angeles is a job of its own. Unless you are a driving-resident of the city of Los Angeles or its surrounding cities, please read these fair warnings below before getting behind the wheel in the City of "Angels".

Sense of direction:

First and foremost, POP QUIZ! Please point North. Now point South. Point Towards the Ocean. Point towards Downtown. No, not Century City or Wilshire Corridor, I'm talking about the stack of tall buildings that look like mini New York. Okay, if you failed at any of these questions , please open up www.maps.google.com (none of that Mapquest bullshit) in a separate browser window, type in Los Angeles and STUDY. Any LA driver should have a map of of the city engraved in their brain and should transform themselves in a walking compass. If you do not know your north from south or your ocean from downtown, you will get lost. And when you will be lost you, will not find your way back, and when you will ask for directions, the good people of Los Angeles will direct your with the fundamental cardinal points any Angeleno should be able to sense with their eyes closed. Furthermore, when you study your map of LA, please look out for the following important streets that are KEY in this city. It is an unforgivable sin if you do not know where these streets are located, let alone if you make it seem like you have never heard of them.

- Wilshire Blvd - It runs from the Ocean all the way to Downtown, we are talking 15 miles long! If you were a tourist in L.A you could pretty much discover all of the melting-pot of the city by just running down Wilshire.

- Sepulveda - Sepulveda runs from the city to the valley. Please don't hate on the valley too much it's so 1995 (Thank you Alicia Silverstone). It runs along the 405 and can also take you closer to the airport without having to deal with the freeway.

- Laurel Canyon - Laurel will take you from the city to the valley as well but closer to the Hollywood area. It can be misconstrued as the "fancy" way to get to the city, but it's not. The real fancy canyon route is Benedict Canyon, you know because it's in Beverly Hills and all.

I'm not even gonna bother telling you about Hollywood blvd or Sunset Blvd because even as a out-of-towner you should know about this, and if you dont the secret force field around LA county will sense it and prevent you from coming in. And anyway, you're a big girl/boy, you can check the rest out for yourself on dearest google map and educate yourself!

The Drivers:

Los Angeles drivers have 3 categories: the idiots, the impatients and the good drivers. Nothing less, nothing in the middle, nothing more.

- The idiots are to be feared. They are everywhere and cause all sorts of accidents, and have the capability of turning a good driver into an impatient one. I won't go into exact detail about them because I will get some angry letters, but let's just say that stereotypes in this case are pretty accurate. The idiots don't seem to realize they are driving in one of the largest cities in the world. Beware of the grandmas driving 14 miles an hour, or the sad wannabe speeding down the street showing off his recycled-blue Honda CRX. And of course you'll always find yourself saying "Yooohooo bozo in the Toyota Avalon, the green arrow is flashing, you can proceed with the left turn now! It only took 38465282 minutes for it to turn green and for some reason it turns back to red reallllly quickly, so PLEASE get a move on!" You tend to wonder sometimes how come you seem to always be the one in a rush, next to all the others who have, apparently, all the time in the world! which ironically brings me to....

- The impatients. There are some drivers who feel like every second in their drive matters. You will find yourself trying to merge a lane on the freeway and be confronted with some asshole in that next lane speeding as you try to get in. I mean seriously? will letting me in really make you late for work? Will those extra 3 seconds destroy your day? The only time not letting someone in to merge is if they drive like a slow turtle, otherwise be a dear and let me in motherf****!

- The good drivers: good drivers are awesome. They usually like to wave a lot. It is their sign of "I come in peace". For example, they will put their hand up as a sign of thank you when you let them merge lanes or even wave of happiness if you find yourselves in front of each other at a 4way stop sign with the same exact car! You know just like the Larry David Prius rule. FYI: The Larry David Prius rule states that if you find yourself at a stop sign next to another Prius it is common courtesy to wave and have the other driver wave back.

The Traffic

Traffic will never really fix itself in Los Angeles. Traffic is like a zombie. You may try and kill it but it will always come back to life in a worse form, and will never.quite.ever die. Traffic is part of your life, and as much as it may annoy you, will always be inevitable. Don't worry though, it'll always be okay to vent about it to your friends. And people will really believe you when you say you were stuck in traffic and that is why you will be 20 minutes late to your lunch rendez-vous. I mean, don't lie too much though, as we are currently in era of smart phones and it is really easy to see if you are indeed stuck in traffic or not. Learn how to live your life around traffic. Never make dinner plans at 6pm. Avoid the 101 freeway from 7:30am to 9am. And if you have no other choice, then find some buddies to speak with on the phone in order to pass time or get yourself an audio book. Oh and by the way if you do not own bluetooth in your car or an alternative earphones... your cell phone should be taken away from you by law. It's 2012 people! All of your Iphones (and ancient Ipods) came with the white earphones which work as an earpiece - puh-lease. And finally, the ultimate armageddon of Los Angeles that happens every once in a while. I'm not talking about the 405 closure or the presidential visits, I'm talking about the EVIL RAIN that will come and KILL YOU!!!!! That's right, unless you did not know already, Rain in Los Angeles is as villainous as Lucifer himself. When it rains here guys, all hell breaks loose. Angelenos literally freak the F out. All of sudden, their confidence goes out the window and their driving skills (if there were ever even any) get submurged in the .5 inch rain that falls from the sky. I think the DMV should really consider investing in a rain simulation machine to include in the california driving test. Hey, so many people will fail it, it'll probably fix some of the traffic problems. You listening Jerry brown?